1 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,309 ♪ Men ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:08,138 Feel like I spent the last half hour yodeling in a cave. 3 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,838 I'm sorry. It wasn't you. 4 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,753 No, it was, it was like licking a lollipop 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,407 that never gets any smaller. 6 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,627 I mean, you enjoy it, but after a while 7 00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,455 you start to crave the stick. 8 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:24,241 Did I at least make you crave the stick? 9 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:27,853 You did great. I'm just... a little distracted. 10 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,856 - Is everything okay? - Not really. 11 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,684 - We need to talk. - Oh, come on. 12 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,991 I got lockjaw and you wanna talk? 13 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,993 I-I wanna know where we're going with this relationship. 14 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,560 Do we have any kind of a future? 15 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,823 Of course, we do. I mean, th-things are good. 16 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,478 Th-things are great. Why rock the boat? 17 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,654 I mean, I know the little man inside your boat 18 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,960 could use some rocking. 19 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,876 I'm talking about making a long term commitment to each other. 20 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,617 You mean like marriage? 21 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:55,229 - Would that be so awful? - Ask my ex-wife. 22 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:58,058 Her statement in court read like a Stephen King novel. 23 00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,798 W-where is this coming from all of a sudden? 24 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,757 It was something my gynecologist said. 25 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,541 - Are you alright? - I-I'm fine. 26 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,066 He said, "Everything looks great down here. 27 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,720 Would you like to have dinner sometime?" 28 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,113 Wow. Wow. 29 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,637 Uh, that is wildly inappropriate. 30 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,162 - I mean, a-as a doctor myself-- - You're a chiropractor. 31 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,252 Nonetheless, I am a healer. There's a code! 32 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,818 I mean, you don't, you don't ask someone out 33 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:22,038 when they're buck naked with their feet in the stirrups. 34 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:24,432 Unless you're drunk at a rodeo. 35 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,216 Well, he did. 36 00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,957 Do you wanna go out with him? 37 00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,046 It's not about going out with him. 38 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,830 But if you and I don't have a future 39 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,745 I need to examine my options. 40 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,270 The way you got examined by Dr. Busy Fingers? 41 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,275 Look, I don't wanna grow old alone. 42 00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:44,321 So, if you're not ready to make this kind of commitment 43 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,844 better to know now. 44 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,456 Jeez, Lyndsey, you k-kinda sprung this on me. 45 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,022 I mean, I don't have to give you an answer 46 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,546 just this second, do I? 47 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,025 No, no, of course not. 48 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,158 - Just think about it. - Okay. 49 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,247 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 50 00:01:58,466 --> 00:01:59,423 [sighs] 51 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,473 And just for the record, he gets paid to go down there. 52 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,475 I do it for the love of the game. 53 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:11,653 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 54 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,612 ♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪ 55 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,270 ♪ Men ♪♪ 56 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:21,402 Hey. 57 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,665 Oh, hey, can I borrow your car? 58 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,057 I need to take my bike into the shop 59 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,102 and it won't fit in mine. 60 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,364 Sure. No problem. 61 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,496 Thanks. 62 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,237 I assume it needs gas? 63 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,369 And oil. 64 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,502 And brake fluid. 65 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,678 And wiper blades. 66 00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,071 So, uh, what are you reading? 67 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,725 I'm trying to finish "Ulysses." 68 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:41,900 Oh, that's a tough one. 69 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:42,901 How long you been reading it? 70 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,468 Fourteen years. 71 00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:48,298 I'm on page eight. 72 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,647 Impressive. 73 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,346 I'm still on the first "Tuesday With Morrie." 74 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,565 He dies in the end. 75 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,350 Thank you. 76 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,004 So, listen, I-I-I wanna ask your opinion about something. 77 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,832 Lyndsey has been pushing me to make a commitment 78 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,660 'cause some other guy asked her out. 79 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,794 - Who asked her out? - Her gynecologist. 80 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,970 Well, at least he knows what he's getting into. 81 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,758 Cute. 82 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:14,977 But I-I-I mean, I don't want to 83 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,674 lose Lyndsey, but I'm just not 84 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:18,154 ready to make a commitment. 85 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,504 My advice is you better do something soon 86 00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,245 or you're out and the doctor's in. 87 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,682 And when I say, "The doctor's in," I mean-- 88 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,076 No, I got it, I gotit. 89 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,295 Alright, I got to get out of here. 90 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,079 Oh, here you go. 91 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,429 Oh, uh, the driver's side door doesn't work anymore 92 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:33,822 so either get in the passenger side 93 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,519 or climb in through the window. 94 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:37,695 - Got it. - Oh! 95 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:38,870 And whatever you do 96 00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,176 when you put the key in the ignition 97 00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,265 make sure you're holding something rubber. 98 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,049 You know, so you're grounded. 99 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:46,922 Does Lyndsey have a nice car? 100 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,924 - Yeah. - Marry her. 101 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,621 ♪ Men ♪♪ 102 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,797 ♪ And he's holding her in his arms ♪ 103 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,843 ♪ Late late at night ♪ 104 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:58,716 ♪ You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪ 105 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:01,719 ♪ I wish that I had Jessie's girl ♪ 106 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,551 ♪ Where can I find a woman like that ♪ 107 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,292 ♪ I'll play along with this charade..♪♪ 108 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:12,252 [engine sputtering] 109 00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:21,609 Alan! 110 00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,265 Ah! Ow! Ow! 111 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,278 Everything okay? 112 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,757 Oh, yeah. 113 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,411 I think it just overheated. 114 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,934 Can I give you a ride to a gas station? 115 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,849 Uh, gee, I don't know. 116 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:47,722 My mom always told me never to get in a car with a stranger. 117 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,248 I'm Shari McMartin. 118 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,250 Solves that problem. 119 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,426 ♪ Men ♪♪ 120 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,820 Thank you. I really appreciate it. 121 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,952 Oh, no problem. 122 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,172 So your old Volvo's seen better days, huh? 123 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,392 [chuckles] Yeah, it's actually, it's not mine. 124 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:08,438 I borrowed it from a friend to get my bike fixed. 125 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,092 You ride a bike around town? 126 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,181 You must have amazing stamina. 127 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,706 Well, it's not the only way that I get around. 128 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,839 Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed about. 129 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,667 With the price of gas being what it is 130 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,886 a bicycle is very practical. 131 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:24,802 I'm-I'm not ashamed. 132 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,848 Trust me, there will come a day when you won't 133 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764 have to worry about having enough money for gas. 134 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,026 Okay. 135 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,725 I look forward to that day. 136 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,120 So what's your name? 137 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,992 - Walden. - That's a nice name. 138 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:42,211 What are you doing in Los Angeles, Walden? 139 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,040 You trying to be an actor or.. 140 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,824 ...model or something? 141 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:53,918 Right now, I'm trying to finish a book. 142 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,094 Oh. How long have you been at it? 143 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:59,750 - Fourteen years. - Oh, a struggling writer. 144 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:05,669 - Yes. Yes, I am. - Well, you're in luck. 145 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,455 I happen to be a big supporter of the arts. 146 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,327 Oh, really? How fortuitous. 147 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,852 Ooh, "Fortuitous." You are a writer. 148 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:17,377 Listen, uh, what do you say we go grab a bite to eat 149 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,727 get the car fixed later? 150 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,730 Sure. There's-there's a really great deli right up here. 151 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,602 Well, actually, I have a better place in mind. 152 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,691 - Where's that? - My house. 153 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:30,259 Oh. What's on the menu there? 154 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,306 Oh. 155 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,135 Yum. 156 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,748 ♪ Men ♪♪ 157 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,316 - Hi. - Hi. 158 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,014 What you doin'? 159 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,319 [Lyndsey on screen] Nothing much. 160 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,104 How about we go out to a movie? 161 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,932 - Sure, we could do that. - Great, great. 162 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,500 I will check some times. 163 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,415 - 'Alan?' - Yeah? 164 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,808 Did you think about what we discussed last night? 165 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:58,896 Oh, yes, oh, yes. 166 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,203 Thinking about it constantly. 167 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,118 Anything you wanna talk about? 168 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,816 Not yet. Still thinkin'. 169 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:09,385 Uh, you know, uh, percolating, uh, mulling. 170 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:12,562 All the other pertinent "ings." 171 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,826 Ooh, ooh, uh, uh, cogitating! 172 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,176 Stalling, avoiding, ducking. 173 00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,091 Ooh! Procrastinating. 174 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:22,616 What? No, no. That's, that's crazy. 175 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,313 I'm not, I'm not doing any of those things. 176 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,184 I mean, why would I do those things? 177 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,839 So what movie would you like to see? 178 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,233 I know what you're doing. This is not gonna go away. 179 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,669 Look, I just don't understand 180 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,497 why we can't keep things the way they are. 181 00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,194 You mean, living day-to-day 182 00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:38,109 never knowing what kind of future you have with the person 183 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,634 you've been in a relationship with the past three years? 184 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,811 Okay, I-I-I prefer to think of it as cherishingeach day 185 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,944 nay each moment with the woman I love 186 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,643 because none of us knows how much time we have left. 187 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,688 I mean, it-it-it could all disappear 188 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,473 in the, in the blink of an eye. 189 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735 You mean like this? 190 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,695 Exactly. 191 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,611 ♪ Men ♪♪ 192 00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,135 Well, it would appear that a bicycle's not the only thing 193 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,486 you can ride. 194 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,010 I'm also good with bulls and merry-go-rounds. 195 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,883 Did you enjoy your lunch? 196 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,406 Oh, yeah. 197 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,408 I would definitely eat here again. 198 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,761 Mm. Mm. 199 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,721 Do you mind taking a taxi home? 200 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:29,030 Uh, sure, no problem. 201 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,988 I'd drive you, I just have some things to do. 202 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,861 Okay. 203 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,167 So...then we're done here? 204 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,822 I am. 205 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,522 Okay. Alrighty then. 206 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:48,179 You know, uh, we should do this again. 207 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,225 Oh, we will. I'll let you know when. 208 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,056 - Alrighty. - Oh...here. 209 00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,363 What's this? 210 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,975 - It's money for a taxi. - I don't need that. 211 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,630 Sweetie, don't be proud. Take the money. 212 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,591 Okay, great. 213 00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:11,594 Thank you. 214 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,204 ♪ Men ♪♪ 215 00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,732 ♪ Men ♪♪ 216 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,605 - Hey, hey! - Hey! 217 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,955 Where have you been? 218 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,828 I got some good news and I got some bad news for ya. 219 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,003 What's the bad news? 220 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,135 Your car overheated and broke down. 221 00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,268 Ah! I should have told you not to turn on the radio. 222 00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,838 So, uh, what's the good news? 223 00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,840 This beautiful woman pulls up 224 00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,320 in a Bentley and offers me help 225 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:43,757 and then she takes me back to her house 226 00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:46,498 and bangs my brains out. 227 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,109 H-h-how is that good news for me? 228 00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:49,284 Oh, sorry, I misspoke. 229 00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,677 The bad news was for you 230 00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,679 the good news was for me. 231 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,463 Do you have any idea how many times I've been stranded 232 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,204 by the side of the road 'cause of that car? 233 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,988 The only person who ever stopped was a truck driver 234 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,687 with no pants and drawn-on eyebrows. 235 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,340 She also gave me money for a taxi. 236 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,908 - I hate you. - I know, right? 237 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,518 How was your day? 238 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,042 I'm pretty sure Lyndsey and I broke up. 239 00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,653 Oh, man. 240 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,176 I'm sorry. 241 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,483 I-I really liked Lyndsey. I thought she was great. 242 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,790 Yeah, well, she is great, but I'm not gonna be bullied 243 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,052 into spending the rest of my life with somebody 244 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,662 just 'cause they're great. 245 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,317 Who would? It's like being forced to win the lotto. 246 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:27,235 Wait a minute. If you took a cab home, where's my car? 247 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,455 Huh. 248 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,372 Here's a 100 bucks. Buy a better car. 249 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,335 ♪ Men ♪♪ 250 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,902 So, you ready for round two? 251 00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,687 Oh, right now? 252 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:48,038 Um, well, could we just talk a little 253 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:51,651 while...the boys, you know, restock the shelves? 254 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,785 Yeah, sure, let's talk. 255 00:10:55,872 --> 00:11:00,311 Um, how are things... going with your book? 256 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,966 How's...with the what? 257 00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,621 Your book? The one you're trying to finish? 258 00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,623 Oh, about the book.. 259 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,365 Good. 260 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,714 It's good. 261 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,716 It's going good. 262 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,850 Writing words. 263 00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:20,027 Making sentences. 264 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:22,116 What's it about? 265 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,465 Okay, um...yeah. 266 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,293 It's about this, uh.. 267 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,123 ...guy...named Alan. 268 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,734 Mm-hmm. 269 00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,475 He, and he-he lives with his brother 270 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:37,566 in this, uh, fabulous Malibu beach house. 271 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,525 And? 272 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:46,140 And...the brother dies. 273 00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:49,056 He falls in front of a train in Paris. 274 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,407 Wow. Didn't see that coming. 275 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,193 Neither did he. 276 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:03,810 Anyway, this, uh, this billionaire named Wal...ter 277 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,379 comes along and he buys the house 278 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:12,644 and then, and Alan continues to live there. 279 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,777 Wait. With a complete stranger? 280 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:15,822 Yeah. 281 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:21,218 - Are they gay? - No. No, no. 282 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,525 They-they're just, they're just friends. 283 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,093 That's a bit far-fetched, isn't it? 284 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,182 What? No. 285 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,140 That's totally plausible. 286 00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:34,057 They have these adventures together. 287 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,540 It's funny. 288 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,718 It's a good thing you're pretty. 289 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,637 ♪ Men ♪♪ 290 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:51,945 Hey. 291 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:53,903 Whoa! 292 00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,690 Look at you. Bought some new clothes, huh? 293 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,518 Nope. 294 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,608 Somebody bought new clothes for me. 295 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:07,177 Shari took her boy toy shopping in Beverly Hills. 296 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,658 I felt like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman." 297 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,750 The only thing I got from the truck driver 298 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,926 was a pack of cigarettes and an eyebrow pencil. 299 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,408 Yeah, I gotta tell you, it is nice 300 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:21,713 to be taken care of for a change. 301 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,759 Well, look who I'm talkin' to. 302 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:28,155 Alright, I'm gonna go do some manscaping. 303 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,113 Mama like me smooth. 304 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,203 [Skype call tone] 305 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,597 - Oh, hey, buddy. - Hey, dad. 306 00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,773 Well, this is a nice surprise. W-what's going on? 307 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,167 Well, I heard from Eldridge that you and his mom broke up 308 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821 so I'm just checking in to see how you're doing. 309 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,823 That is really sweet of you, Jake 310 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,520 to be concerned about your old man. 311 00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:46,913 Well, I love you, dad. 312 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,263 - I want you to be happy. - Thank you. 313 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,917 And, you know, you've always been there for me. 314 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,832 Now I get to be here for you. 315 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,572 That's true. 316 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:57,488 - Speaking of which-- - How much? 317 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,664 A couple of 100 bucks would make it a Merry Christmas 318 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,188 for all the people I love. 319 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,798 Alright, Jake, I'll take care of it. 320 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,018 Oh, thank you, dad. Love you, bye. 321 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,584 Bye. 322 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,239 Totally worked! We're going to Tijuana! 323 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,812 Totally worked. He thinks I'm sending him money. 324 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,119 ♪ Men ♪♪ 325 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:23,123 Um. Excuse me. Is this seat taken? 326 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,559 Sit. 327 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:25,821 But if a lady comes along 328 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,867 I'm gonna have to ask you to vacate. 329 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,566 Right back at you. 330 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,046 I'm not worried. 331 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,617 - Sid Olsen. - Oh. Nice to meet you. 332 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,619 Uh, Alan Harper. 333 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:44,361 So, Alvin, you play the ponies? 334 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,886 Uh, I'm not much of a gambler. 335 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,627 I don't know, that shirt's kind of a gamble. 336 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:55,068 So, uh, what, uh, brings you in here, Sid? 337 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:57,984 Besides dispensing fashion advice? 338 00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,942 I like to get out, make the rounds 339 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,814 you know, talk to the young people. 340 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,165 But I'll talk to you until one comes along. 341 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,169 Whether I like it or not. 342 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,649 Oh, I got some more advice for you, Albert. 343 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,129 When you get to be my age 344 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:16,045 always bring a big plastic cup into the john. 345 00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:17,177 Why? 346 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,743 You gotta lower the water level 347 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,268 or your nuts get wet. 348 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,965 Oh, excuse me, darlin', darlin'. 349 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,880 Could we have some more wings, please? 350 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,360 I'll have a beer, please. 351 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,362 You know, it's all-you-can-eat for $6.99. 352 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,885 It's also dollar beers. 353 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,453 Yeah, I don't drink beer. It gives me the wind. 354 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,979 What's your problem, Alfred? 355 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,460 - I don't have a problem. - Oh, come on. 356 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,244 You're in a bar at four o'clock in the afternoon 357 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,638 talking to an 80-year-old man about his balls. 358 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,076 You got a problem. 359 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,690 Fine. I-I guess, uh, I've been having relationship issues. 360 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,867 Ah, I get it. I'm having trouble with my wife. 361 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,479 - What's the matter? - She's dead. 362 00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,655 Oh, oh, I'm, I'm sorry. 363 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,222 Ah, so am I. 364 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,701 If she were still alive, I wouldn't have to be 365 00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,747 talking to you. 366 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,618 Now we both wish she was alive. 367 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:10,578 Zing. 368 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:16,801 Our marriage was the best 30 years of my life. 369 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,500 My only complaint was that she couldn't cook. 370 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,719 The woman could screw up iced tea. 371 00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:24,070 I mean, you know the recipe for iced tea? 372 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:26,681 It's ice...tea. Done! 373 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,774 Well, I guess you have to take the good with the bad. 374 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,515 You're smarter than you look. 375 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:39,041 You got a good one, you gotta hang on to her. 376 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,217 Yeah, but how do you know you've got a good one? 377 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,697 Well, you don't always know. 378 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,699 Sometimes you just gotta take the leap. 379 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,399 Ah, here we go. Thank you. 380 00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,271 Thank you very much. 381 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:52,794 Uh-h-h.. 382 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,145 These are for my cat. 383 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,933 I don't have a cat. 384 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,679 Well, it was great talking to you, Archie. 385 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,291 Alan. 386 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,509 Sid. 387 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,601 Here's my card. 388 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,516 Oh. Thanks. 389 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,518 I'll call you if I need a wing-man. 390 00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,479 Get it? Uh, a wing-man. 391 00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:26,958 The, the chicken? 392 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,049 Leave the jokes to me, chuckles. 393 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,184 Aw, jeez. I forgot my wallet. 394 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,056 Don't worry. I've got it. 395 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,058 Thank you. Much appreciated. 396 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,019 Works every time. 397 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,022 ♪ Men ♪♪ 398 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,329 [doorbell rings] 399 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,160 - Alan? - We need to talk. 400 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,684 Oh, really? Now you want to talk. 401 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:59,208 I don't know, you just kind of sprung this on me. 402 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:02,603 Okay, I deserved that. But just listen, please. 403 00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:03,908 Go ahead. 404 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,171 I've just come 405 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,999 to the realization that.. 406 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,090 ...I don't want to end up alone with my nuts in the toilet. 407 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:14,528 - What? - All I know is this. 408 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,878 I was scared because every time 409 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,923 I've made a commitment to a woman 410 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,535 it's blown up in my face. 411 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:26,366 But...I'd rather be scared than risk losing you. 412 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,978 I-I want to be with you forever. 413 00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:33,721 Ah. That's all I ever wanted to hear. 414 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,462 I-I love you, Lyndsey. 415 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,378 And as soon as I can save enough money 416 00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,685 I'm gonna...put a deposit down on an engagement ring. 417 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:46,081 You don't have to buy me some dumb ring. 418 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,039 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 419 00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,086 ♪ Men ♪♪ 420 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:52,305 [doorbell rings] 421 00:18:58,702 --> 00:18:59,703 Yeah? 422 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,489 Is your mom here? 423 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,925 My mom? 424 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,842 Walden, what are you doing here? 425 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,931 Well, I just wanted to surprise you. 426 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,629 Oh, that's very sweet. 427 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,501 Baby, go put these in water. 428 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,242 Yeah. 429 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,247 Honey, you really have to call before you come over. 430 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:24,119 What's up with the kid from "Twilight?" 431 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:27,818 Oh, uh, he works at Foot Locker. 432 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,821 You know, he's like you, he just has a little more ambition. 433 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,955 [chuckling] Ambition? You're kidding me. 434 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,522 Oh, no, don't take that the wrong way. 435 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,002 I mean, you are very good at what you can do. 436 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,918 Okay. 437 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,746 I'm a billionaire. 438 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,270 I own my own company. 439 00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,141 Oh. There's that imagination. 440 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,883 Hey, that's what you should be writing about. 441 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,798 I'll call you, okay? 442 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,756 I own my own freakin' jet! 443 00:19:57,892 --> 00:20:00,764 That's it. I'm going to buy Foot Locker. 444 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,418 ♪ Men ♪♪ 445 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,469 ♪ Men ♪♪ 446 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,217 Thank you for inviting me over, Alfonso. 447 00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,828 No problem. 448 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,786 You too, Winston. 449 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:25,049 Any time, Sid. 450 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:27,922 Look, I don't want to tar anybody else's roof 451 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,924 but either one of you tappin' the hot redhead? 452 00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:32,492 [both] No. 453 00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,973 Mind if I take a swing at her? 454 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,366 Go right ahead. 455 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,020 Yeah, she might swing back. 456 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,022 Good. I like 'em feisty. 457 00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,640 This may take a minute. 458 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,340 Is your friend pool that shallow? 459 00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:00,650 Hey, red, you like chicken wings? 460 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,001 ♪ Men ♪♪ 461 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:10,051 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 462 00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:13,315 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 463 00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:16,275 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 464 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,320 ♪ Ooh hoo-hoo hoo-hoo hoo ooh ♪ 465 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:21,715 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 466 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,457 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 467 00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,589 ♪ Ha ah ha-a-ah ♪♪ Men ♪♪